Hang in there

Sometimes life just gets overwhelming. It happens to us all: no matter how good your life is, it is not always sunshine and rainbows. I've come to believe that once you get through the dark times, you can look back and see the situation in a whole different light, and be thankful for the experience. It sure is hard being in the tunnel though.

We've had a rough week. Travis has been teething, and therefore cranky. I've been exhausted because I never sleep well without Ken, and we're into week 3 of Ken being in SATX (San Antonio, TX). Trav is fun, but being with an active, teething not-quite-toddler 24/7 with no break is not something I recommend. Yesterday, I bent down wrong when I picked Travis up, and now my back is aching something awful. I have a lot of respect for military moms and moms whose husbands travel, especially when they have multiple kids; it's hard enough keeping up with one.

I realize our problems are small in comparison with others struggling with much larger issues, and I haven't lost the sense of gratitude that I am able to stay home full time, and that I have an amazing and supportive husband. But sometimes, life just gets overwhelming, and change requires adjustment. It's times like these that I'm thankful for an awesome God to lean on. No, He doesn't make my back stop hurting miraculously, and no, He doesn't magically make everything better. But I feel his love, and when I am able to sit and be still once T is in bed, I sometimes feel myself wrapped up in the warm, comforting arms of the God who hand-crafted me. He then whispers two of my favorite verses in my ear and encourages me to hang on a little longer. Let me share them with you.

There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor (trouble) a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. ~Hosea 2:15

I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. ~Psalm 27:13

Throughout my life, God has whispered these verses over and over to me, reminding me that He is always with me, even in the dark of the tunnel, and giving me strength to continue on until I begin to see the bright light of the sunshine on the other side. Sometimes life just gets overwhelming, but if you hang on long enough, it soon rights itself, and you are able to more fully appreciate the light and the joy it brings. And maybe, just maybe, things get better than they were before.

Here's to making it through the tunnel, and having faith that the light at the end isn't a train.

What's in a Name?

We sold Chloe awhile back; for those not in the know, that was our little green Toyota Echo. It was a great car, and got awesome gas mileage, but I now feel like a grown-up with an adult car!

I believe that names are important. Sort of like, "you must be special if you're important enough to be named." Naming something is powerful; you're setting the memory of that thing permanently in your mind to forever be remembered and cherished (or ridiculed). No longer was it just a turtle, it was Max, the turtle that ate dog food. It wasn't just a cat that looked like a thousand other cats, it was Mindy, and she was my first cat. Ken has indulged my need to name the cows in the pasture, random animals we come across, and even inanimate objects. We call his GPS Jezebel because it sometimes leads us astray. We call his SUV Ruby because it is red. I once named a bird that had died after flying into our front window (which was closed). Then I buried him, and wrote a memorial poem. I will always remember Fred, and the sacrifice he made for a cause we will never know.

From the beginning, the name Chloe seemed to fit the Echo perfectly. It was independent, breezy, peppy and fun. I enjoyed driving Chloe and we took many great trips together. One of my best buds, Laura, even made me a mix tape for traveling (See photo at right). She and her husband lived in Omaha, NE for a few years, and I drove up to visit them on several occasions. At one point, another friend and I (Jess) took an impromptu road trip (the reason why is a whole other story!) through Nebraska, Missouri and Kansas.We bonded while driving all night, listening to the Counting Crows and talking about life. Another time, the four of us drove to Wahoo, NE because we saw it on the map, and I just had to visit. For years afterward, we said "WaHOO, Nebraska!!" any time there was any celebrating to be done (OK, I still do).

If you're still with me, the point of this entire post is that I am having trouble deciding on a name for the new Camry. I could continue to call it The Camry, but to me, it's not just a name for a car, it's a name that will feature in the new memories I will make as I drive it. Someday, we may pass the car down to Travis, saying "remember when..." and I want the name that goes with it to match both the car, and who I am now (or who I want to be). Classy but laid back. Traditional but fun. Spontaneous but grown up. 

Any suggestions?

Life and Another Video

I was recently asked for an update and more photos, so here you go! :-)

Ken has been working in San Antonio, so it's been me and the boy alone together Monday - Friday. It's hard being sole caregiver with no breaks and no relief except for naps and bedtime. I'm not the most social of people (did you know that about me?), so we mostly stay at the house. Also, Trav's been teething, so he's been cranky and whiny lately. Not a pleasant way to spend the days. However, we're hanging in there. Next week, we'll go visit Ken again. We have friends in SA, and there's a little pool at the hotel, and a Target nearby, so we should be plenty happy.

Ken's job is going well, but he's been very busy, and we weren't planning on him being gone like this. We visited last week, and I got to meet several of Ken's coworkers. Everyone was really friendly and geeky so I totally fit right in. One gal held Travis so Ken and I could eat lunch, and he never cried or anything. In fact, we couldn't find them when I was ready to leave, so we had to go looking for them. She had him with a bunch of girls cooing over him. Yeah, the little flirt is gonna be a ladies' man.

I found this really cool TV series (no longer going), it's called Digging for the Truth, and it was on the History channel hosted by a guy named Josh Bernstein. I have found each episode really fascinating, and whether you're into history or not, I think you'll find it entertaining.

You've politely read everything I've written, but I know you were hoping for some more videos of Travis, and I won't disappoint you. Here you go! Here is a video of T walking around the coffee table saying "Mama." He still doesn't realize I'm Mama, but it's cute anyhow.

I've added some more photos of Trav's room after I added some wall art. What do you think? I decided that I'm not fond of the blue that I chose, but it works and it's not worth repainting. It's a nice blue, it just doesn't have a lot of pizzazz, which I guess is fine for a kid's room. 

Closet wall

Above the closet

Family Photos

With Howard after their nap

Pooh in the rocking chair

Wall art and changing table

Please continue to pray for us during this rough time; Ken will be going to SA every week until probably mid-August, and then we should find out whether he will go back to the Austin office or what our next steps will be. 

One for me, two for Saige...

Lately, Travis has discovered that feeding Saige is more fun than feeding himself. So now, he throws his food on the floor and giggles when she picks it up. I've started making her sit outside the kitchen until he's finished making a big mess, but today I was a big softie and let her in while I ran to get my camera. Here are some videos of the two buffoons.

Enjoy!

Life is funny that way

So after I blogged the other day about how God is teaching me to embrace my own writing style, I received this daily devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries reminding me that God gives unique gifts to each person and that we should embrace our gifts. The post centered around this verse

“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

Isn't it funny how God works? Sometimes we hear a gentle whisper through the storm prodding us to trust and follow Him, and other times He uses clanging symbols to send a message to jump start our hearts and reverberate through our souls. I find that I am continually amazed and thankful by his love for me.

I've been thinking a lot about strengths lately. I guess because I am still trying to pinpoint mine. It's always been easier to identify where I fall short, but I'm beginning to realize that life is better if we pinpoint our strengths and build upon them. To that end, I took the StrengthsFinder quiz. Here are the strengths it identified for me. Do you think they're accurate?

• Learner: People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them. 

Without a doubt, your hunger for evidence, data, or background information is immense. Whether your sources of knowledge are people, classes, books, the Internet, or discussions, you are hardwired to be as informed as you possibly can be prior to starting most ventures. You probably prefer to be overly prepared rather than risk being poorly prepared. Chances are good that you yearn to increase your knowledge by being kept in the information loop.

• Input: People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information. 

Chances are good that you are delighted to read more about topics with which you are already familiar. Accumulating additional information about these issues and subjects makes more sense to you than venturing off into areas about which you know very little.

• Intellection:  People who are especially talented in the Intellection theme are characterized by their intellectual activity. They are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions. 

You regularly reflect on how you felt about your experiences as they occurred. You usually ponder how you felt afterward, too. Your emotional awareness sharpens your thinking. You are doubly blessed: You think with your head and feel with your heart.

• Empathy:  People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others’ lives or others’ situations

By nature, you might work persistently to lift people’s spirits. Perhaps you naturally see the good in individuals or situations. Maybe this approach allows you to embrace rather than resist life’s surprises, disappointments, opportunities, or successes. Chances are good that you recognize when your coworkers can benefit from your approval and compliments. You spontaneously sense a person’s need to hear kind, encouraging, or supportive words from a colleague. You enjoy celebrating the contributions, strengths, discoveries, or victories of individuals.

• Connectedness: People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

Because of your strengths, you may get to know people individually in your quest to gain wisdom. Discovering the qualities that distinguish someone from everyone else might be an essential aspect of your search for truth. Instinctively, you occasionally help people realize they are part of the human family. With your guidance, perhaps they understand that their lives are intertwined with people they will never meet.

I feel like they're pretty accurate. So, the next time I start to doubt my own abilities and begin to compare myself with others (and lament that I fall short), remind me of this verse and smack me upside the head. :)

1 Corinthians 12:4-6, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.”  

Let's have a heart to heart

Sometimes I write blog posts in my head while walking or driving or trying to fall asleep, but they never seem to end up on the blog. I wonder, sometimes, if you want to hear about

1. how much I LOVE editing for our friend Todd at Assured Leadership, 
2. how happy I am to still have a foot in the Tech Writing world, 
3. how much I want to learn to design websites, but feel overwhelmed by the tools, or 
4. how much I want to use up the cute fabric piling up in my office, and 
5. how much I want to sell the things I make with my cute fabric so I can buy more cute fabric? 

Do you really want to know that I love staying home with Travis, but continually stress out about the dishes piling up or the fact that I feel like the worst cook in 3 counties so I try to avoid it even though secretly I love to cook and want to be successful?

I read some blog posts by friends of mine who are so freakin' funny (don't visit if you get offended easily) or so stinkin' creative or so dramatically descriptive that you want to go back day after day and read everything they post. And then I feel like a total slacker for falling back on videos and the boring recounting of my days with T-man. Sometimes I feel sorry for you, my readers, that I'm not more interesting, creative, or descriptive.

But then I remind myself that my writing style is different, and that's not always a bad thing. I can be inspired by others, but I need to embrace my own strengths and find peace in my writing. One of the reasons I started this blog was to embrace a new style of writing, so this is kind of a growing thing.

My 3 followers read this because there's something here they enjoy (OK, well, one of my followers is me), and the rest of you read this because I actually send it to you whether you want to receive it or not. I assume you would tell me if you didn't want to be one of the chosen 10. :)

Though sometimes I wonder if you read my posts, I feel compelled to continue writing. I guess because something that God is teaching me is that I have to put myself out there. To be truly great, you have to practice, you have to try, and you have to fail (if that's what it takes). I am a master at staying within my comfort zone...in fact, the very idea of publishing this particular post scares me because it reveals more about me than I'm used to sharing with others, even those I love. But more than share pictures of my cutie, I want to inspire you, to connect with you, to share stories that make you laugh or cry, to share my struggles and triumphs and encourage you to share yours, to reveal the glory of God and how He prods me to be a better person and to lean on Him.

So, keep reading. I will continue to share photos and videos of T-man, but along the way, I will also share pieces of myself, and just maybe, you will read something that makes you laugh out loud, or smile throughout your day, or makes you think a little bit about life and the wonderful journey we travel together.

Feel free to share with me; I want to know what you think. Maybe we can swap some recipes.

More Videos

I've been taking some videos, and decided to post them for your viewing pleasure. This boy is so cute!

Playing Peekaboo

Learning to slide

More sliding

Standing and chatting

Playing with Saige

Photos of Trav's newly painted room.

Happenings and Changes!

On our morning walk by the river

Earlier this week, Ken, who has never met a stranger, helped a lady at Loewe's who was fixing her lawnmower. She happened to work for the Hyatt Lost Pines Resort right here in Bastrop, and invited us to visit, so we decided to treat ourselves as a celebration. Though it's only about 10 minutes away, it felt like we were miles away from home. We naively believed that we'd be one of a couple of families sharing the pool, so we were super surprised by the number of people and kids everywhere!!

My great guys

However, we had a great time. We got an upgraded room (with a balcony), and after we ran into Cynthia the next morning, she bought me a coffee and comped our breakfast, which was a delicious buffet! I hope that Travis is as outgoing as Ken--he always meets the nicest people!

We traded off getting massages and playing with Travis in the pool. He was one tired baby, there was so much going on that he would not fall asleep for anything! After 2 hours of trying, he finally fell asleep about 10pm, but woke multiple times to throw up...of course, waking us up in the process. Poor baby got so overheated that it made him sick. He's fine now, and has slept most of the day to catch up on his sleep, and now we know that 3 hours by the pool in this heat is a bad idea. For some reason, we forgot to get photos of us in the pool, but we did get some others.

Sleepy, sleepy baby

Ready for a nap!

We had to visit the horses:  Julius and Cesear

Travis seems to really enjoy the water, though the Hyatt was not his first swimming experience. Last Saturday, we were invited to a pool party, and had a great time with some of Ken's co-workers from ASI.

In the pool!

Sylin' with hats

Bob and Travis meeting

Tuesday, May 24 was my good friend Bob's 60th birthday, and we were invited to a surprise party at the Oasis. Boy, was he ever surprised! I can't help but feel that we were the highlight of his day. As soon as Bob saw that we were there, he made a beeline straight towards us, and Travis went right to him! Later that night, I heard Bob introduce me as his daughter, which, I have to say, made my day! I used to work for Bob, and when he and his wife Candy decided to move to Austin, TX, they brought me along as part of the family, which I've been ever since. Candy passed away several years ago, but I think of her every time I use my sewing machine because it was once hers. I feel that everything I make on it is a tribute to her.

Me, Bob and Trav

Finally some of you may have already heard that Ken has accepted a position with a company called RackSpace. It is here in Austin, and promises to be a new challenge, which Ken is looking forward to. I know that he'll miss his friends at ASI, but we're excited about this new change in our lives.